Brain dump: So many random thoughts from my head to yours

If you could spend the day with one famous woman, who would it be?

This week I’ve had so many thoughts pop into my head — things I want to say, links I want to share. I keep thinking, I should write a post about this! I’ve basically got a backlog of thoughts in my brain, but the trying to remember them all + needing more time to write is giving me the urge to spit it all out at once or just not bother at all. So I thought I’d just share one post with all my random thoughts. Let’s see how this goes…

• I read Garret Bucks’ recent post about fatherhood last week, and his words haven’t left me. He talks about his own father and how he lives in awe. He writes, “My dad’s a gentle guy, not much for histrionics, but when he talks about the people he loves, especially when they’re not in the room, there’s something else in his voice. It sparkles.” This sentence. I don’t know why, but it hit me hard. It reminded me of how important it is that our kids know how much we love them, not just because we tell them we love them, but because we tell others too. There is something about overhearing a third-hand sincere compliment that sinks deep. I want to be this type of parent.

• Speaking of people I want to be… Marlow and her best friend, Juni, busked at our local farmers market on Saturday morning. They set up two chairs and played their guitars for two hours. They only know about 6 or 7 songs, but they played those songs on repeat. Marlow told me one woman stopped on her way out of the market, arms full of veggies, and asked the girls to show her their music sheets. She asked them questions about where they learned to play, and which song is their most recent one to master. Then she asked them to play that song. She sat and listened all the way to the end, complimented them on their playing and quietly slipped a ten dollar note into their basket. I want to be that kind of woman too.

• We bought radishes from the farmers market. My favourite way to eat them is to slice them up thinly and dip into tamari or soy sauce. (Here’s a cute video with a very young-looking Wilkie.)

• Did you read the interview of Barbara Kingsolver on Big Salad last week? Gosh, I just love that woman. What a legend. In this interview she shares her thoughts on growing older and I love her refreshing take on it. Plus, she shares three favourite books, none of which I have read, and now I want to read each one — starting with Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard.

• If you could spend a day with one famous woman, who would it be? My friend Annie Messing texted me this question last year and Barbara Kingsolver was top of my list, along with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, because I love her podcast so much and think she’s funny (surely there would be lots of laughing!) but also so tender (and crying!). On my list was also the author, Anne Lamott, because she’s just so wise and equally vulnerable, and the midwife Ina May Gaskin, because her book changed my (baby birthing) life. And maybe Sarah Jessica Parker, because I met her in London one time while carrying Easton in the baby carrier, and she was so, so lovely. Also because… Sex and the City. Obvs. Who would you choose?

• It’s been so cold here this week. Like the kind of cold that makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning and torturous to step out of a hot shower. Michael usually makes me wait until the afternoon to light the fire, but this week even he has accepted that we need to have it burning all day long. I love laying the fire. It was one of my chores in childhood and every time I crumple paper and carefully pile up kindling, I hear my dad’s voice in my head explaining the perfect way. I love the ritual of it, and the way the dog looks at me so appreciatively.

• I went to see Materialists in the cinema with some girlfriends last week and thought it was good. I’m not usually a fan of American romcoms, but thought this felt somehow more substantial and less predictable than most. (Side note — Michael and I watched Fifty Shades of Grey recently, and it’s terrible. The plot is so predictable and it’s cheesy. But… we didn’t turn it off. 🔥)

• Our cleaner, Suzy, has been away for the last five weeks and it has really, really made me realise how much we rely on her for keeping things clean around here. She usually comes every Monday for a few hours, and I guess I’ve gotten so used to her coming that I have overlooked just how helpful those few hours are each week. Dust is piling up on surfaces, the shower screens are so grimy you can hardly see through them, and no matter how much time I spend cleaning the kitchen (which is a lot right now because Easton is home!!!), it just doesn’t feel properly clean. If you’re raising kids and keeping a home and you don’t have a cleaner, you are a wonder woman. It is a FULL TIME JOB.

• Do you subscribe to Nick Cave’s newsletter, The Red Hand Files? Coincidentally, I’ve had it recommended to me by three different people in the last few weeks. I had no idea who Nick Cave was when I was first told about his newsletter, but then Michael reminded me that we know some of his music, including this beautiful song. Anyway, apparently each week he takes the time to answer questions people have sent in to him, and his writing is beautiful and tender and thought provoking. So far, I’ve received one newsletter, but already I can see why people have recommended it.

• We’ve had Easton’s girlfriend here visiting for the last couple of weeks, and it’s been so wonderful watching them love each other and to witness Easton in this relationship. She brings out the best in him, and I think (hope) he does the same for her. It’s a whole new phase of motherhood to witness my baby in these early stages of his very own adult life, falling in love, and carving out a journey that is completely separate to mine. It’s brought up so many thoughts about the role of the mother-in-law too (or boyfriend’s mother). It’s just another reminder that this parenting journey is one non-stop lesson. The learning never ends.

• In just over a week I’m flying home to Seattle to see my family, squeeze my dad for his 70th birthday and meet my sister’s baby girl, who is now 3 months old with squishy leg rolls. I FaceTimed with my sister a few days ago and I can now make her baby laugh through the telephone screen. OMG, I can’t wait to do it in real life!!! Plus, it will be summer with long, sunny days and fresh berries to pick. (I can feel my body thawing out as I type that.)

• I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump lately. But I now have two books on my list to read: the Annie Dillard book mentioned above and You Are Here by David Nicholls because Jodi Wilson recommended it calling it ‘utterly delightful’.

  Okay, I think that’s enough for one day before I scare you off completely. 🤪Please share your thoughts with me on any of the above. What have you read lately that’s worth sharing? Have you seen the Materialists movie? Are you already a Nick Cave fan? And which famous woman would you spend a day with?

  Courtney xx

  

  A reminder that our new book, The Family Home, is available to pre-order here. If you pre-order the book, you’ll be the very first to receive a copy when it’s out in early September. (It’s also the best way to support us and it makes us incredibly grateful! We really cant wait for you to read it!)