This is part of my Motherhood Musings video series, where I share random (and sometimes emotional - like this one!) thoughts that pop into my head as I journey along this motherhood journey. To listen to other musings, click here.
Our eldest child, Easton, has been home from university for the past couple of weeks, and having him back has reminded me just how much the dynamics in a family shift when one person leaves—and how things shift again when they return.
There are unspoken rhythms and norms that form within a family—roles we each slip into without even realising. When one child leaves, especially the eldest, those rhythms naturally adjust. Sibling dynamics shift. New roles are tried on. I felt it last year when Easton left: a quiet reshuffling, like everyone was trying to figure out where to stand now that one piece of the puzzle was missing. And now that he’s back for a bit, it’s happening all over again. There’s a strange mix of comfort and unfamiliarity—like trying to fall back into a rhythm that’s changed tempo just slightly. I’ve noticed this subtle off-beat feeling not only in Easton, but in each of his four younger siblings too.
There’s a part of me that feels tender and a little bit sad about this—how those days of having five little ones at home are now just a blurry, happy memory, and how the familiar dynamic we once had as a family of seven is gone. And of course there’s another part of me that knows this is healthy, even necessary. It means they’re growing, evolving, learning to take up space in new ways.
It’s a powerful reminder that our children aren’t just shaped by us as parents—they’re deeply shaped and influenced by each other. Not just in surface-level ways, like what music they listen to or how they dress (though that definitely happens in our house!), but in deeper, more lasting ways. They shape each other’s confidence, humour, self-esteem, drive, the roles they play in the group, how they express emotions, even how they share opinions at the dinner table.
I’ve always been fascinated by birth order and the dynamics between siblings—how children naturally differentiate themselves, carving out a sense of identity within the family. And also how they subtly complement and balance one another, like an ever-shifting puzzle of personalities and needs.
